Just Moms

Saying goodbye is something that I have had to do this week.

1. I said final good-byes to my aunt who passed away.
2. I said good-byes to friends from church who are moving away.
3. I said good-bye to my Mom as she want back to PA today.

In each of these situations I said good-bye. Same word, yet the severity of each situation was different.

I won’t see my aunt again on this earth. (Permanent)
I won’t see my friends in person for a long time. (Semi-Permanent)
I won’t see my Mom again until the weekend. (Temporary)

So these 3 situations are very different. Yet we say the same phrase “Good bye”. Why is that?

Sometimes I don’t think we know what to say in a situation. So we find ourselves saying a “standard” saying that fits the situation.

Death of a loved one – “I’m so sorry for your loss”
Someone is diagnosed with cancer – “I’ll be praying for you”
A friend is moving – “Take care and keep in touch”

Standard phrases. But do we really mean what we say and say what we mean?

I know it’s hard to know the right thing to say all the time. And it’s hard to say the right thing at the right time. So what are some of the common “mistakes” people make?

1. Saying nothing. The song “You say it best when you say nothing at all” is often the WORST thing that we can do! Saying nothing says a lot. And it usually says “I don’t care”.

2. Saying a standard phrase. Sometimes we may not know what to say, but an “empty” standard phrase often makes the person feel uncared for or “ordinary”. Their situation that they are going through is not “ordinary” to them, and the last thing they need is “ordinary” and “empty” phrases.

3. Saying a story. Sometimes we try to relate to a person’s pain by going on and on about ourselves and what we have been through. But to that person it may come across as you talking about yourself and not helping them handle what they are going through. I know relating to someone can be used as a way to encourage them, but it’s not always the best thing to do.

The above “mistakes” are not always mistakes though. Sometimes it is best to say nothing and just listen. Sometimes it is best to say a standard phrase when we are at a loss for words. Sometimes it is good to encourage someone by telling them how God has brought us through something. But each situation is different and we must know the right thing to say/do at the right time!

Do you think before you speak? Do you pray before trying to console someone? Seeking God is the only way we will know how to talk to someone when they are handling a difficult time. Without prayer, we will end up making one mistake after another which only adds more pain to their already existing pain.

The next time you hear about someone going through a rough time, seek God and ask Him for the words to say or not to say. He always says the right thing at the right time!